There are tons of writing adages out there along the lines of “Show don’t tell” that you’ve no doubt heard your old creative writing schoolmarm repeat hundreds of times. Unless you know what they’re really saying and what they really mean, though, these cheerful mottoes can’t help you. Today, I want to fire off a quick explanation for why writers generally should stay away from the word “suddenly.”
“Suddenly” is a crutch. It’s cheap. It’s easy. Lots and lots of writers pepper their manuscripts with it because then they don’t have to worry about writing transitions, describing actions or giving the reader any context. They just slap a “suddenly” on to an event or feeling and voila! It fits!
Except it really doesn’t. A reader’s job is to react and infer and analyze what is going on in a manuscript or book. When we’re faced with “suddenly,” it’s like a power surge. Our system is scrambled. Something suddenly comes on the scene that takes us by surprise, whether it is a plot twist, an action, a feeling or a thought. And that’s fine. We react. We try to understand what the new development means. If it is an emotion, we try to fit that into the character and situation. We do our job.
The problem is, though, that a writer who leans heavily on the “suddenly” crutch usually thinks that “suddenly” is enough. They whallop the character and the reader with something and then move on. We don’t get a reaction from the character, we don’t get the feeling explained, we don’t see a lot of context. The “suddenly” has been used to shoehorn something into the narrative without much regard for how well it fits.
For example:
Suddenly, a big slimy alien burst out from behind the wall.
Reader’s reaction: Jarring, but okay. Hopefully there are aliens elsewhere in this book and this isn’t the first one we see.
A rage overtook her and she suddenly punched him square on the nose.
Reader’s reaction: Whoa! Wait. They were just kissing. Where did that come from? Why?
As you can see, “suddenly” is usually a treasure map of lazy writing. When you come across “suddenly” in your own work, you’ve likely found a section of the narrative where you could’ve given more context, more reasoning, more explanation. Let’s rework one of our examples:
She pulled away from him and looked deeply into his eyes, only to catch him staring blankly at the TV over her shoulder. The rage that overtook her was so intense that she sent a fist flying straight for his nose.
At least now we understand her rage (even if we think she might be overreacting just a liiiiittle bit). So take a look at your manuscript. Are there any places where “suddenly” is standing in for something that could be expanded, deepened? That could be given some more meaning and context? It’s not the word itself that’s bad, it’s what it does with the reader’s understanding of your work.
Related posts:
Tags: Revision Trick, Writing
-
I do struggle to avoid the word suddenly and frequently ponder if there are other, better ways to describe things that happen quickly and unexpectedly.
After reading your post, I returned to the book I’m currently reading (should I give away the title??) and three paragraphs in found this gem:
“She was dreaming of her great imprisoned father when suddenly, for no reason at all, she woke up.”
I laughed out loud. Completely annoying, and just as your post concluded, the suddenly wasn’t enough for me. I wanted to know WHY she woke up and the author clearly didn’t think it worth telling.
So maybe you’re on to something. Must go back and re-examine all of my own suddenlys now. Thanks!
-
Ahhh! This is so great. And, of course, I had to go count how many times I used “suddenly” in my book. 7 times out of 58k, but I’m still going to go back and see if I need any of them.
I found this cool free program at http://www.supermagnus.com/mac/Word_Counter/index.html
It has a function that shows you word frequency and I use it to find all my crutch words. Seriously, I used “seriously” 30 times. It’s so easy to fall into traps like these and sometimes it’s difficult to step back and see that you’ve fallen into them. -
I went and checked through my current WIP. In almost 50,000 words I had two uses of suddenly.
One I had already highlighted to change (it was on the first chapter which I’m not allowed to revisit or edit) and the other was the MC describing an event that happened lightning-fast.
Not too bad overall. Probably because I try to avoid adverbs in general.
-
Pingback from How did it make you felt? « Ideas In Things on September 1, 2009 at 4:51 pm
-
Pingback from Kidlit.com · Brainstorms and Tips on December 28, 2009 at 8:28 am
-
Trackback from uberVU - social comments on December 28, 2009 at 9:55 am
-
“Suddenly” is pretty bad, but at least it’s occasionaly apt as things can happen suddenly. One I hate even more is “without warning”, as in “Without warning, the killer entered the room and brandished his machete.” What warning was the killer supposed to give, anyway?
Even rarer is the dreaded “Suddenly and without warning….”
-
I’ve read somewhere long ago about a writer’s pet peeve being “suddenly”. I don’t recall his name, but have adopted his ways since. The book I’m writing is still in the making (I’ve put it aside long ago), and have eliminated from it all suddenly-s. I’m reading Proust’s Swann’s Way that is translated by Moncrieff and Kilmartin, revised by Enright. There are plenty of this unwanted words in it. And yes! I’m crossing out all of them as it seems to irritate me so much: I shrug every time I hear or read this word!











16 comments
Comments feed for this article
Trackback link: http://kidlit.com/2009/08/27/why-you-dont-use-suddenly/trackback/